If you’re strong enough not to immerse yourself in one of those free “un-news” newspapers, look out the window _if possible out the front window of the bus’ upper floor_ and check out the view.
London Bus drivers, as a rule, overtake each other while nicely nudging cyclists into pedalling at unnatural speeds. “Harry Potter” and “Inception” style, their rides bend the laws of physics as they squeeze into tiny streets, do U-turns and take on sharp bends without even considering prodding the breaks.
As pedestrians are honked-off the middle of the street (again, no breaks) some take it upon their stride to “dare the bus driver” and see who moves first. I’ve never been able to watch those finales cos’ I just don’t have the stomach for it. In fact, most of the time, I’m half-expecting the bump as the obvious winner gets the upper wheel.
Inside, passengers discuss the day’s events loud enough to rival pigs in abattoirs, and LOLs (Little Old Ladies) lift 30 year olds off the disabled-seats with the power of their telekinetic gaze.
The most entertaining part is when two or three passengers play “Musical Chairs” battling it out regardless of age, disability-level or gender. The race up the narrow corridor to the empty seat at the back is hilarious to watch, the contestants’ eyes ablaze with the determination to win the Seat of Victory. I couldn’t possibly repeat here what the losers mutter under their breath… but all in all you get the picture.
If you’re coming to London this summer, the bus rides are a definite must, as is the “Oyster card”: the public-transport-users best friend. *Clueless about where the “Oyster” name came from but there you go.* The upstairs passenger by the front window, taking pictures while half covering her eyes would be me.
Further reading: “Bus the size of a satellite due to hit Earth tonight”: http://bit.ly/IXVCdw *Hope no-one got injured (O_o ‘)!*