Humans Beware (of the chickens).

This brief post aims to hypothesise a possible explanation _and likely long-term outcome_ to the following verified fact:

“There are more chickens than humans on Earth.”

Chapter I  Points to consider:
I. Chickens, as their name implies, are the weakest, most gullible wanna-be-svelt-birds on Earth. Despite this, there are about 20 billion1 of them, contradicting all evolutionary trains of thought.
II. A corollary of the above is that, despite having an unlimited number of likely predators, chickens have managed to reproduce in greater numbers than better organised and equiped races. Examples of which are: lions, wolves, and most notably: humans.
III. Like humans, chickens can be driven to eat themselves to death.

Chapter II  Hypothesis:
Considering the above, the most likely reason why chickens have survived is: symbiosis. There seems to be a natural, unspoken, agreement between predator and prey to exchange: “countless lives against survival insurance.”
1. What the chickens let go off: deaths by the billions every year to satisfy the shared, uncontrollable urge to eat.
2. What the humans promise: to ensure the survival of the Gallus Domesticus by housing, feeding and reproducing them by any means necessary.

Chapter III  Likely long-term outcome:
Total and absolute world domination by chickens. As humans are driven into suicidal eating habits, the chickens learn governmental patterns to ensure their ultimate, and independent, survival.
God will be a chicken and the “What came first, the chicken or the egg?” question will be attributed an irrefutable answer.

Conclusions and further research:
The hegemony of the chickens is most likely (99.99% likelihood), long term.
Most statistical models verify this fact by factoring in evolutionary theory independents with live population data which ratios to about 3:1, chickens per human being.

Future research includes practical sampling, and derived estimations, of cognition variations in chickens against data gathered in the 50’s. Sample chickens will be tested in their natural habitat across borders.2
Research and study suggestions can be sent to
1 According to Firefly Encyclopedia of Birds, Ed. Perrins, C. N.Y.: Firefly Books, Ltd., 2003. There are circa7 billion human beings although this is near impossible to quantify. Chickens are more forward with their figures…
2 Provided cross-border and local research regulations allow it.


16 thoughts on “Humans Beware (of the chickens).

  1. I read this wee factoid on a Snapple cap. I love your development on the topic–quite pressing and relevant. Gobstopping to think about.

  2. What a frightening thought! World domination by chickens!! I really, really dislike chickens. But here in Jamaica we eat chicken until it’s coming out of our ears! Sometimes I don’t want to see another chicken…alive or dead!!

  3. If only our planet would accept this well known scientific phenomena…I even had someone recently tell me “cluck you” which was indicative of this evolutionary movement.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s